Befriending Dragons

Turn Scary Into Attainable


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What Should “Racism” Mean?

Racism isn’t dead, it just keeps morphing. And spreading. And multiplying. Take all those things you see about racism and add in sexism, homophobia, and other “isms”. Be aware and stop doing it. It isn’t some mysterious other doing it – it’s mainstream Americans.

The Weekly Sift

There’s a type of faux scandal that’s been happening … well, I haven’t exactly kept track, but it seems like there’s a new one every month or two. They all fit this pattern: President Obama does something that symbolically asserts his status as president, and the right-wing press gets outraged by how he’s “disrespecting” something-or-other related to the presidency.

So, for example, in January, 2010 this photo caused FoxNation.com to ask whether Obama was “disrespecting the Oval Office” by putting his feet up on the antique desk.

Of course, it didn’t take long to uncover similar photos of previous presidents, none of which had raised any particular outrage at the time. But everybody forgot again, and so we had an almost identical flap last September. “This just makes me furious,” one woman tweeted. “He was raised so badly.”

Or remember last May when marines held…

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Stupid Cancer – Survivor Spotlight Tonight at 6p

Stupid cancer. It can be a devastating diagnosis – even if like me you’ve “won the cancer lottery” and ended up with a very treatable breast cancer. In my case I’m cured – a couple of small scars, a bit of a fading sunburn on one side, and memories. I can no longer say I don’t have tattoos; I have three tiny “prison blue” dots across my chest as a reminder of my radiation treatment. Stupid cancer.

As a professional data geek I see lots of hope for the future of cancer diagnosis, prevention, and treatment. New “Big Data” technologies promise to improve the accuracy of screenings, speed up genetic testing, and improve the lives of those with a cancer diagnosis. Stupid cancer.

As an amateur community organizer and activist I regularly fight for human rights – gay rights, women’s rights, the rights of those who are being denied the opportunity to live normal lives for no good reason. Cancer denies people the right to live normal lives – I’m working to fit fighting for cancer survivors into my activism. Stupid cancer.

My mom died from breast cancer in 1997. One of the big surprises of getting my own breast cancer diagnosis was my sense of relief. I hadn’t realized how much I had been waiting for stupid cancer to happen to me. Heredity may only account for 5-10% of breast cancers but I apparently still had it in my subconscious that my mom had it so I would get it. The non-stop awareness campaigns sometimes seem to just make us afraid without giving us something concrete to actually do. Stupid cancer.

This stupid cancer definitely gave me a new perspective on life. Tune in to hear me talk about being a cancer survivor on tonight’s Stupid Cancer show at 6p MST: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/stupidcancershow/2014/02/18/single-fathers-of-cancer

“Bereavement from cancer is the one of the most difficult parts of dealing with cancer. Join us for tonight’s bereavement roundtable, where we talk to Justin M. Yopp, Ph.D. (Assistant Professor, UNC School of Medicine, Dep’t of Psychiatry) and Matt Herynk co-founder of Young Cancer Spouses about the coping with the loss of a loved one due to cancer. Survivor Spotlight on blogger Cindy Gross.”

To listen live, visit http://stupidcancershow.org

To subscribe to the iTunes podcast, visit http://stupidcancer.org/itunes

To subscribe via iHeartRadio, visit http://stupidcancer.org/ihearttradio


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Interview with Julie Strauss–Microsoft BI WIT

Julie Strauss is a very accomplished and respected Senior PM at Microsoft. Her current role is technical assistant for Microsoft Data Platform Group (DPG) Corporate Vice President Quentin Clark. She has been the public face of Microsoft BI at conferences and helps deliver great technical content and data stories to the public. Julie loves to help others so she has shared some background on herself and some great business advice that could be helpful to others seeking to improve their success.

Julie saw a job posting for the support team in Microsoft Norway (at the time Great Plains) looking for an individual willing to learn the ins and outs of the Microsoft BI products. She was excited that the posting indicated a willingness to learn was more important than previous knowledge of the particular Microsoft product. This was how and why Julie came here – she loves the technology and the data driven parts of the business and finds them fascinating.

Read the complete post at http://blogs.msdn.com/b/cindygross/archive/2013/11/21/interview-with-julie-strauss-microsoft-bi-wit.aspx


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Transgender…. Are You Uncomfortable Yet?

I wrote this post for Idaho’s Add the Words blog, I am reposting here to spread the word:

TDORI started this post to ask you to join us at Boise’s Transgender Day of Remembrance 2013. As I thought about how to write about it, what I could say to get people to attend, I realized most people would just dismiss the day and the event as irrelevant to their lives. But it’s not irrelevant to you – it’s all about the type of world we want to live in. It really is an event you, yes YOU, need to attend.

I know, you’re busy. Maybe you’re uncomfortable around people who are different than society has taught us is normal. Maybe you aren’t sure what people will think of you if you go. Most people who attend will not be transgender themselves, we are there to show that we don’t think violence is the answer to feeling uncomfortable around others. Are you really ok with using violence against people in a misguided attempt to make them conform or to make the attackers more comfortable with themselves? Because that’s what this is about – remembering all the people who are beaten, raped, and even killed every year just because their gender identity makes people uncomfortable.

Take a few minutes from your evening on Wednesday, November 20, 2013 to head to the Anne Frank Memorial for Boise’s Transgender Day of Remembrance. The memorial starts at 7p – show that you don’t condone violence by joining us there.
Cindy Gross – Straight Ally and Equal Rights Supporter
#TDOR
GLADD: Transgender Day of Remembrance #TDOR – November 20 http://www.glaad.org/tdor

10 things every Lutheran should know about Transgender Day of Remembrance http://www.reconcilingworks.org/news/news/611-transgender-day-of-rememberance

Link or Tweet this blog post via http://tinyurl.com/mw45x5w


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Taking it Easy with Radiation

When I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer I quickly found out that I was going to have things relatively easy. In less than three weeks from my diagnosis I had a lumpectomy which removed a very small, low-grade tumor and almost certainly removed every trace of the cancer. This past Monday I started the radiation that will make sure any lingering microscopic cancer cells are gone from my left breast. Two small, neat scars from the surgery are the extent of my side effects so far. I might possibly have a little bit of mild short term fatigue from the radiation towards the end of treatment. I’ve had one week of radiation so that means I have 5 more weeks, 5 days a week, to go. The first five weeks they treat my entire left breast – they created the plan to be very directed and avoid my heart and lungs. The last week has a “boost” that focuses radiation just on the area where the .9cm tumor was. I see the radiation oncologist, Dr. Kuhn, every Tuesday right after the radiation treatment so she can make sure the treatment is going well.

Green Boots

My beautiful green boots!

On the first day of treatment I wore my green cowboy boots. Everyone from radiation check-in to the radiation techs raved about the boots. As a bonus they match the green hospital gowns they have us change into. It’s nice to have something positive to think about because walking past a waiting room full of people waiting for chemo treatments on my way to the elevator down to radiation can be a bit depressing. I feel guilty about having it so much easier than they do.

Radiation Room

The purple section rotates and is where the radiation comes from

The daily treatment is very fast and easy. Before my first treatment they put three freckle sized tattoos, literal pin pricks of blue ink, on my body. Every weekday morning at 9am I go in, lay face-up on a table, and put my hands on the handles behind my head (see the green circle on the picture). They move the sheet under me to get the laser on the ceiling to line up with the three tattoos so the radiation is directed at the correct area. Then the entire machine rotates – the section circled in purple ends up at an angle about a foot above my right side, facing the inside of my left breast. I hear some whirring noises for about a minute – that’s the radiation being dispensed. Then it rotates to be even with my left side, the radiation tech shifts the table a bit, and the machine whirrs again for about a minute. That’s it. I get changed from my hospital gown into my clothes and go home. Fast, easy, painless. It’s amazingly simple and the techs are very friendly and answer all my questions.

The hardest parts are getting there on time each day and not being able to wear deodorant or antiperspirant. I have to use their hospital grade lotion and increase my protein intake but otherwise my life is very normal. Everything is easy and my great circle of friends has been incredibly supportive! I’m very lucky and happy to be getting on with my life!


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How To Really Be Aware This October

Thanks to the “I Had Cancer” site for posting my guest blog this week on How To Really Be Aware This October.

Everywhere we turn we hear about “awareness”. That’s great, but what does it mean? Now it is Breast Cancer Awareness month – but awareness of what? What do you do with all this awareness? Will you be more aware at the end of this October than you were last October? What did you learn? And what will you do differently?

Read the rest here.


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Diagnosis – Those First Moments of Breast Cancer

I wrote this Reader’s Opinion for the “Pink Edition” of the Idaho Statesman October 2, 2013 for Breast Cancer Awareness Month:

Do something. Anything. Make the cancer go away. What will I have to endure – will they chop off my breasts, make me ingest toxic drugs, poke me and prod me and stick me with needles and run me through machines? Quick; learn the difference between an MRI and an ultrasound and a mammogram – what does each really do, what does each detect, what kinds of false positives and false negatives might occur with each. This isn’t happening, it’s really a mistake. The test results aren’t really mine. Are they?

Keep Calm and Fight Cancer

Keep Calm and Fight Cancer

Deep breath. Of course it’s my diagnosis. And it’s mine to deal with. I can either panic (been there, done that – just a few seconds ago) and wallow in fear and pain or I can deal with it and move past it. Doesn’t seem like much of a choice, I guess I’ll deal with it.    It.    The breast cancer. I can fight it. I will fight it like a girl – proud and strong. I’ll overcome it. And I did. The cancer is gone. A little lumpectomy – done. A few weeks of radiation just in case there’s a microscopic cancer cell or two left over – coming in a few weeks with few expected side effects. Genetic testing – negative for the common breast and ovarian cancer causing mutations including BRCA. What a relief. I’m cured and I still have breasts that look pretty much like they did before. I’m done. I survived.

I took that fearsome cancer dragon and I turned it into something to live with. I didn’t do it alone. I have a great circle of friends who went with me to the biopsy and doctor appointments and pre-op and post-op…. They sent positive thoughts and showed they cared and they also knew when I just needed to be alone. I have a highly trained surgeon and oncologists and lab techs and nurses and even a nurse navigator assigned by the hospital. I work for a company that provides me with great insurance so I don’t have to worry about paying for all this wonderful medical care and the frequent screenings I will have in the future.

I am so lucky in so many ways. They caught my cancer early, I have wonderful friends, I asked questions and went back for additional screening after the initial false negative, and I have access to medical care many in this country can’t afford – though many more will get the care they need as more and more ObamaCare provisions are enacted.

You too can be lucky – take charge of your own life. Ask questions, take action, and be your own best advocate. Schedule your mammogram. Fight like a girl. Love your friends. Ask questions. Befriend your dragons. Help someone in need. Thank those who help you. Do, be, live, love, grow, change. And never give up.